state> tired
soundtrack> east 17 - it's alright

Packing for the short walk to Italy, I cannot resist to thinking about US. Us - not the United States (sorry guys, about you another time maybe), not about me and you, or me and somebody, but about us, guys, about us all.

Even if things are better - and I believe they are better than some years ago (hmm, let's say 1914 or 1939) - we are worse; we have the experience, but we don't learn from it. How to explain such a paradox?

I've been watching last night an excellent movie. City lights, 1931, with Charlie Chaplin. He plays the part of a tramp, and I wonder why he has chosen to play specifically this part, in most of his movies. I guess the answer comes from his acknowledgment of the fact that the human society (ANY human society) is not perfect, and that people situated on the border of this society are the people who can make it obvious. Perhaps, you have to be a little "insane" if you do not want to go crazy, crazy because of watching and taking an active part in the "show" of the alienating society around you. Because - newsflash! - society is all about a show, guys. Even if individuals are honest and sincere. Very sad.

In the end, a song. A (rather outdated) song of a band I never really liked, because it was (is) very commercial for my taste. The song is good, however. Give it a try.

PS. I'll have the mobile connection kit with me. But I doubt I'll have the time to write. In which case, I'll be back Tuesday or Wednesday. Until then, all the best.

With love,


descriptum50. Happiness

state> sleepless
soundtrack> endless zone - schimbare

So, in my last post, I wrote something about poorness vs. happiness.

They are not completely opposite, I argued. And then I thought about the pursuit of happiness. You know, the most developed nation of this world has stated it as a fundamental right in its bi-secular Constitution.

I'm not a philosopher, so I cannot generalize. I'll just speak my mind. If you want to be happy, you have to know yourself. To know your real needs. Most of us dream of money, cars, wealthy women or men as partners - a vision of an extraordinary inner poorness. If such a dream comes true, it will not bring nor happiness, nor fulfillment; as it is much too limited for that. Many people do not know how to be happy, which is rather normal considering they do not know themselves. Unfortunately, most of the people I know, most of my friends. Most of my family. Thus, it is not by my merit, but due to luck that I once had the vision of my own happiness.

It was around 1994, I was a pupil in the 7th grade and preparing for the high-school. I lived at home, in Bistriţa (and coming to Bucharest only during school vacations), I was playing handball (as a goalkeeper) in the school team and running the bicycle for hours each day, I was working hard in the small company of my family (good hours daily) and I would be playing to the electronic keyboard in my room, late in the evenings.

My parents were still married and I dare say these were the best years they spent together. On Sundays, after the religious service, we would go to a decent pub or we would take the car and go somewhere on the hills (or the mountains) surrounding the city. Sometimes we would spend the entire week-end on the mountains.

A few years later, when my parents were divorced and my mother was out of town, I would run the company by myself for couples of days in her absence during my vacations. And would do it as good as I could - I liked being responsible. All I dreamed of in these times was to finish my studies, go back in Bistriţa and work in that small family company; the dream of being a pilot was long gone at that point. The family company was there, it was what my family's been doing for some years; I guess the way my mother was running things made it seem, somehow, easy, even if it was terribly hard; finally, it was what I liked. You definitely get to know other people when your interaction takes place around money and basic goods; I liked knowing other people.

We were not rich guys or part of a local elite; we were just normal members of the middle-class struggling for our future - and that struggle included even the youngest member of our family. That kept us together and gave us our identity. It also provided most of our moments of happiness.

I consider myself not very happy in this moment, by the way. And a company would not be the answer to my relative "not very happy" state :) I know, though, what a change supposes; it's hard and requires a lot of good choices.

PS. I take this opportunity to tell you, my dear friends, or to remind you, that the next few months will bring along a few trips. Friday I'll be off to Milano, in Italy. Within three weeks I'll go to a congress in Dublin; in August, after the Haggard concert in Transylvania I'll do my best to be on the beach in Turkey. I also plan to visit Timişoara and Chişinău, before autumn. So stay close :)



state> good
soundtrack> van noizz - nu renunţa

And still.

There is actually a good amount of things that really work, around. So it is not that bad. Today, I watched Alexandra Dulgheru making her way to her second final (in a row) at the Polsat Tennis tournament. Last Saturday, after finishing the work program, I rushed - together with a colleague - to the Tineretului park, to watch the Champions League final (feminine handball) between Oltchim and Viborg. Oltchim lost, but I was/am proud of them. More than that, the girls of the team are "guilty" in a very positive way: I was in a mall when they were playing the quarterfinals. I could not leave the hi-fi store until the match was over. They were playing very nice and I enjoyed watching. By the way, handball is my sport, handball is what I practiced.

Even in politics. Could you imagine Romanian politicians doing something good? And yet. The taxes for the IT sector won't go up. So, many Romanian IT companies will keep their money and their job offers here. So perhaps there is hope, a little bit of hope at least, in the end.

I just met with a friend of mine. He celebrated last month the birth of his third son. He is aged just like me. I felt so old, compared to him. Or, compared to what he did so far.

I decided that, if there are posts I would want to publish specifically in Romanian, for a reason or another, I would use TheoDialogia for that. So check it out, once in a while.

Finally, I had the opportunity to read an interesting comment today. It was something about poorness. Some guy decided to give up his fortune and live in a van. The commenter said something like, in order to feel really poor, you should give up your education, culture, relations and experience as well. I disagree.

I do not think people living in poor neighborhoods, working as plumbers and spending their free time watching football and playing dices are necessarily poor. Even if they ignore the millions of ways their life could be lived, because most of them are actually happy living the life they live. In my view, poorness is not about that. Poorness is about choosing to live like that when you have the real opportunity to live otherwise. And I know a couple of very rich guys who are actually very poor.



state: sleepless
soundtrack: tears for fears - the working hour

I met some friends tonight (I arrived home one hour ago) and I must say I felt a little bit sad, wistful. One of my former colleagues - and a good friend of mine - is in a period, and a situation, very similar to the one a very close person crossed three years ago.

You have the impression that some of your former colleagues were doing better than you, and then suddenly you realize it was not true. And you realize how lucky you are. But on the other hand I tend to believe everybody makes his own luck and holds responsibility for it.

I also noticed tonight that a lot of our actions are dictated by fear. We don't admit it to others, we don't admit it to ourselves, but fear is the reason for many of our actions. Because of fear, we do things we would've never thought of doing before. This prospect is frightening.

Changing the topic, on Monday I attended, accompanied by a few of my actual colleagues, the national musical comedy theater. Free entry, and I took the invitation because I've never been there before (whilst frequenting the opera with assiduity). It was unexpected and nice, the actors were young and enthusiastic (even if technically they have a lot of work to do), I liked the experience and I think I'll go there more often.

I expect summer, eagerly. Although May is my favorite month of the year. And I am happy because of it.

PS. The song below is for Alex.


Bucharest by night V

The Parliament Palace.
A place with a blooded past ...and lots of mysteries.

April 2010.


melum39. A bit of the Casshern soundtrack

I think the genre is known as J-rock.
And this band is, rightfully, one of its superstars.

PS one thought: silence is better when you don't find things to say. I don't want to pollute.



So this is it.

We knew that something should be changed, but I see many Romanians somehow thought changes should not be of this level of magnitude. We expected taxes to grow, not pay checks going down. And still. Wages for the state employees will go down by 25%; pensions and benefits will go down by 15%. It is huge. With that, our hope that the economy will start going up before the end of this year (and that the crisis will become no more than unpleasant memory) turned to smoke. Even more than that, if these measures will not be applied, things will get even worse.

Speaking of which, I do not consider the Romanian administration capable to implement these measures. This, or any other administration. Because, if the administration would've been capable to do it, it would've done that already long ago. It did not happen. On the other hand, I highly doubt these measures are enough. The way I see it, the government reacts reluctantly (and very late) to a situation already existing, instead of acting in order to improve it. You cannot win anything with a defensive strategy. But, I forgot, we do not live in Poland or South Korea.

My regret is that the only potential winner from this situation is the socialist party. They don't deserve to win points for standing aside and crying out loud how good they are and how bad the democrat-liberals are. And they don't deserve any points for getting unsatisfied people on the streets - as they will sure do, or at least try to. Protesting will only make things worse. They should have protested months ago, or a year ago, when they saw the government was not adopting a plan to fight the crisis.

If there is a time to have stability and social peace in the country, then this is it. Each family of this country is directly affected by this measure. There are, as far as I know, at least 4 members of my family who will see their incomes decreasing. Three of them are teachers, and they do not deserve that. I also have many friends who will gain less.

All these sacrifices people will make would be spoiled if things don't change. Meaning, if the state will prove itself incapable of reform.



state> good
soundtrack> Hari and Aino - gold (or something just as nice)

There's been a while since I had the need to write about myself. You know, usually things don't happen fast. And this was the case so far for me, this year. I don't complain.

It is finally warm outside, so I began jogging again. That also means I left the gym. And speaking of gym, for me it payed taking the time to go there. In January I had reached a peak of my weight - almost 100 kgs - and after only two months I was like 10 kgs lighter. Now I am only 6 kgs away from my target, which is 79. So, the image of stranum53 you saw in Poland, last year, is not actual anymore. I rediscovered the neighboring park with non-dissimulated pleasure. And I was even more impressed when I saw more people jogging now than they did last year.

As a pleasant side-effect of my going to the gym (besides the loss of weight) running is much more easier. I doubled my ratio of last year. I hope to be consistent.

Another change for the good is that I started going to the concerts sustained by Quart'Elle. Meaning, they began to have their own concerts, in one of the clubs in central Bucharest. With tickets and all that. They sound better than before and at this point in time their future looks rather bright. After their grand breakthrough - in February, when they accompanied Holograf for the Dragobete shows at Sala Palatului (by the way, watch their YouTube page for the footage), their attitude and respect towards their work changed. For their latest concert, see a very nice post on Ruxus' blog. Andreea is making me feel proud. I guess, however, that the best part in it is when they rehearse in our place - which happens a few times a week. No music on the radio or on the computer matches the feel of music played live, in the next room :)

The prospects for this year are also rather good. I will have some busy months from now on. A short trip to Italy and Switzerland within a few weeks, a two-week congress in Dublin in June ( I am a little late with the paper, but nothing to worry about) and a week in Turkey, in late August, on the beach, with Andreea. Plus, I plan to attend the Haggard concert in August, in Bistriţa, and if possible to spend, in early September, some days in Chişinău. There is already a long time since I wanted to get there.

This is pretty much it. For now.


A great song from a very good album of an icon group.